i hate that im sensitive and jealous and stupid and quiet and ugly and annoying
That sucks cause I’m perfect and none of these but good luck with that
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
When someone expects me to blindly stride into a childish trap and, electrocute myself.
those jerks at culinary school always called me a weanie but look at me now
That is so cute.
You just see him like:
"Alright human…I know you’re in here…I can smell ya.."
"AH HA!!!!! I GOTCHA"
This is the realest shit
I used to have this exact fantasy
Actually I sometimes still have this exact fantasy (well, if you replace “homework” with “adult responsibilities”)
His favorite color was blue. Her favorite color was red. His favorite color was red.
i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,